Four tips for putting parents at their ease

As college counsellors, we all seem to focus on the students, but can sometimes forget about the parents. But in many countries – especially India and other Asian countries – the parents are the decision-makers on the college journey.

Parents tend to receive an overload of information from various sources, including their social circle, the internet, alumni from various colleges and parents whose children are already at university. But this information is not necessarily in line with what might be the best fit for a particular child – in fact, an understanding of what “best fit” is can often be missing.

To make sure we take the parents and students on a journey to achieve the best possible outcome, we must make them feel comfortable. So what can we counsellors do to make parents comfortable?

1. Communication

Meet parents early on, ideally in Grade 8 (Year 9), so that they know what the four-year roadmap to college can entail. Don’t just meet them once a year – make sure it is at least quarterly.

Include parents in college fairs and events when they hear directly from university representatives. You can also give an “expectations sheet” to the representatives, so that they cover the topics that parents and students want to hear about. Cater the information to the audience present.

Timetable parent interactions, making them a part of the yearly calendar so that parents are aware of the presentations taking place well in advance. At my current workplace, we send out a planned calendar at the start of the year so that parents are aware of what is going to be covered across the year. If they still feel the need to come in for one-on-one meetings, we are open all year round for them to drop in. This has made a huge difference in their understanding of the role of a counsellor and the university application process.

Fix one-on-one meetings with parents of students in Grades 11 and 12 (Years 12 and 13). Make sure it is always a two-way communication with families. The sooner you clear up any misconceptions, the easier the process will become.

Use tools such as Google Chat. This will help you keep notes from each meeting that you have with a parent or student. These notes can be emailed to students and parents after the meeting, helping them to understand and address their goals for the next one. These notes can also serve as a record of the meetings over the years.

2. Timelines and deadlines

Provide parents and students with a roadmap for the year well in advance. This will help them to plan their years better.

When students are constantly reminded of their timelines and deadlines, they are more likely to be prepared and are less likely to end up rushing to take their standardised tests at the last minute.

3. Feeling prepared

When you are in active communication with parents from Grade 8 or 9 (Years 9 or 10) onwards, they become well versed in the university application process. This helps them to feel prepared for the college journey.

This way, parents are also familiar with the counsellors by the time their children reach Grades 11 or 12 (Years 12 or 13). This helps to build respect, trust and understanding on both sides.

As discussed earlier, parents and students will also receive a clear outline of deadlines and timelines, which helps them to feel prepared for the forthcoming year.

4. Tailored provision 

Communication with parents needs to be tailored to the family’s requirements. The same techniques will not work equally well with all parents.

It is essential to work on a few important elements during the counselling process:

Respect: respect the family, their cultural background and their thought processes.

Trust: trust the family and build a relationship in which they feel that they can trust you.

Rapport: form a rapport from Grade 8 or 9 (Year 9 or 10) onwards, so that the family can grow to respect and trust you.

Building your counselling relationship on these four elements helps parents to feel comfortable throughout the college journey – which will ultimately help the student to be successful on their path to college.