Why putting yourself first is the best thing for your students
To ensure that counsellors are able to help and support their students, they need to look after their own well-being. What are the best ways to do this?
Maria Cibele González Pellizzari Alonso
How do counsellors take care of themselves in a career where they are expected to take care of other people?
The answer is simple: take a tip from the airline safety briefings, and put on your own oxygen mask before helping others with theirs.
Counsellors play an important role in school, offering guidance and support to students. But helping students and their families to make life-defining decisions means that they are also dealing with constant stress.
To ensure that counsellors are able to help and support their students effectively, they need to take care of their own resilience and well-being. Only then can they foster resilience and well-being in students, providing them with guidance and support.
Well-being: when stress is like a glass of water
Good mental health is essential for dealing with stress, challenges and setbacks. Resilience, meanwhile, enables counsellors to face adversity, overcome problems calmly, and consider issues that arise with wisdom.
The e-book Wellness Activities for Your Students (IE Global Counselor Academy, Madrid) includes a chapter titled “Resilience – thriving through tough times”. Here, the author suggests that stress is like a glass of water.
How heavy is a glass of water? The amount of water in the glass is less important here than how long one is holding the glass – the longer you hold it, the heavier it will feel.
Stress and life’s worries are like that glass of water. Think about them for a short while and they feel manageable. Think about them a little longer and they will get heavier. Think about them all day and you will feel paralysed, unable to do anything.
As early as possible, put all your burdens down. Don’t carry them through the evening and into the night. Remember to put the glass down.
Practising self-care
Counsellors need to learn to put their resilience and well-being down by practising self-care – that is, by engaging in activities to restore and renew themselves physically, emotionally and spiritually. It is an essential practice that can help them to manage stress and maintain a healthy body and mind.
Counsellors should prioritise self-care, whether by meditating in the morning, exercising in the evening, or simply by making sure that you eat breakfast before checking emails. It is important to establish a regular exercise routine, practise mindfulness and get enough rest.
We also can practise self-care by prioritising relaxation. Getting involved in family and friends’ activities or cultivating a hobby both occupy our time and reduce stress.
Set boundaries to prevent exhaustion or burnout, or to have your own well-being and mental health affected by other people’s problems. Avoid overcommitting to work or tasks; create healthy boundaries with students, families and colleagues; and outline work expectations. Sometimes it is necessary to say “no”, for everyone’s benefit.
Once counsellors understand the importance of prioritising their own well-being and resilience, they will be better equipped to promote it in their students.
Wellbeing strategies
Some strategies that counsellors can use to help students focus on well-being and resilience are:
Mindfulness: encourage students to practice mindfulness techniques (such as meditation, deep breathing or yoga) to reduce stress.
Balanced life: explain to students the importance of physical health, healthy eating habits, proper sleep patterns and good relationships and social engagement.
Positive thinking: engage students in positive affirmation exercises to develop self-esteem.
Open communication: encourage students to talk about their feelings and emotions, even if their problems might seem insignificant.
Problem-solving: introduce group problem-solving activities, so that students can have the opportunity to express their ideas.
Self-care: help students to develop stress-management techniques.
Help: guide students to seek help when they need it, whether from family, friends or a mental health professional.
Through self-care, and by encouraging and supporting resilience among students, counsellors can better prepare students to deal with life’s challenges and setbacks, and help them to overcome difficulties in academic and personal life.
So, counsellors, remember to put on your own oxygen mask before helping your students with theirs.