Four ways to support students’ emotional wellbeing

Career and college counselling has everything to do with the social-emotional aspect of human relationships. No matter how much information you give to a student about the admission processes, requirements, and deadlines, you will fail to fulfil your job entirely unless you allow emotions into your work.

I learned this the hard way when I had a student with obvious emotional baggage that I tried to ignore during our meetings. It is better to address the elephant in the room and enquire about their emotional state rather than avoiding it.

Allowing space for emotions and being empathetic to our students will make the counsellor’s job more rewarding and successful. It is important to remember that students are human beings first and students second.

The following may help you to support students’ emotional well-being.

1. Clearings

This is a new technique that can help students stay focused during the meetings. Before diving into the work during consultations, try asking your students: “Is there anything on your mind that might distract you from our meeting?”

Sometimes students face personal problems related to their studies, families or friends that bother them to the point of distraction. Counsellors can also go through challenges that affect our job performance, so we can use this technique too.

Answering the question “Is there anything on your mind that might distract you from our meeting?” allows students (or counsellors) to voice their worries. Teenagers can be especially affected by personal matters, and voicing their concerns not only helps them calm down and focus better on the meeting but helps us as counsellors to build a connection on an emotional level with them. When students feel that our office is a safe space for them to air their worries and grievances, they are more likely to share their feelings about the college admissions process with us.

2. Spending time with students as a class

It is an eye-opening experience for counsellors to connect with students as a group, with their classmates, as well as in individual meetings. We are able to observe their behaviour among their peers and build a better connection.

It is good practice to try to participate in class trips or similar activities from time to time, to improve your relationship with students.

3. Implementing a mentorship programme with alumni 

This initiative can also be called a “buddy programme”: final-year students are paired with a school alumnus – preferably someone who studied in a similar field. Some students are more comfortable working with people closer to their own age as well.

This programme helps students tackle their anxiety by observing that someone who was once in their position now has a success story to share. It empowers the students emotionally and shows that anyone is capable of succeeding.

4. Breathing techniques

During or after a long day of classes, students can become overwhelmed by the amount of school content that they have to go through. On top of that, we counsellors are increasing their study load by giving them tasks for their college applications, essays and portfolios. As a result, they may feel stressed and anxious, or even emotional and vulnerable.

There are two types of breathing techniques you can use to help calm them before the start of your session:

Single-nostril breathing: Cover nostril one and breathe through nostril two. Cover nostril two and breathe through nostril one. Repeat as desired.

Reverse breathing 4-5-7: Breathe in for four counts through the nose, hold the breath for five counts, then release the breath through the mouth for seven counts.

Career and college counselling has everything to do with the social-emotional aspect of human relationships. No matter how much information you can give to a student about the admission processes, requirements, and deadlines, you will fail to fulfil your job entirely without allowing emotions into your work.

I learned this the hard way when I had a student with obvious emotional baggage that I tried to ignore during our meetings. It is better to address the elephant in the room and inquire about their emotional state rather than avoiding it.

Allowing space for emotions and being empathetic to our students will make the counsellor’s job more rewarding and successful. It is important to remember that students are human beings first, and students second.

The following may help you to support students’ emotional wellbeing.

1. Clearings

This is a new technique that can help students stay focused during the meetings. Before diving into the work during consultations, try asking your students: “Is there anything on your mind that might distract you from our meeting?”

Sometimes students can be faced with personal problems related to their studies, families or friends that bother them to the point that they feel distracted from our session. Counsellors, too, can go through challenges that affect our job performance, so we can use this technique, too.

Answering the question “Is there anything on your mind that might distract you from our meeting?” allows students (or counsellors) to voice their worries – often the first step to dispelling them. Teenagers can be especially affected by personal matters, and voicing their concerns out loud not only helps them calm down and focus better on the meeting, but also helps us as counsellors to build a connection on an emotional level with them. When students feel that our office is a safe space for them to air their grievances, they are more likely to share their thoughts and feelings about the college-admission process with you.

2. Spending time with students as a class

Aside from meeting students individually, it is an eye-opening experience for counsellors connect with them as a group, with their classmates. We are able to observe their behaviour among their peers and to build a better connection.

It is good practice to try to participate in class trips or similar activities from time to time, in order to improve your relationship with students.

3. Implementing mentorship programme between school alumni and current students

This initiative can also be called a “buddy programme”: final-year students are paired with a member of the school alumni – preferably someone studying in a similar interest field. Some students are more comfortable working with people closer to their own age as well.

This programme helps students to tackle their anxiety by observing that someone who was once in their position now has a success story to share. It empowers the students emotionally and shows that anyone is capable of succeeding.

4. Breathing techniques

During or after a long day of classes, students can become overwhelmed by the amount of school content that they have to go through. On top of that, we counsellors are increasing their study load by giving them tasks on their college applications, essays and portfolios. As a result, they may feel stressed and anxious, or even emotional and vulnerable.

There are two types of breathing techniques that you can use to help calm them before the start of your session:

a. Single-nostril breathing. Breathe through nostril one and cover nostril two. Breathe out through nostril two and cover nostril one. Breathe in through nostril two and cover nostril one, and so on.

b. Reverse breathing 4-5-7: breathe in for four counts through the nose, hold the breath for five counts, then release the breath through the mouth for seven counts.